Losing my edge…

because I live in a nice neighborhood and drive a car now.  I miss having ghetto experiences on the public transit and dodging bullets at any given time.  Ah, the good ol days.

Cheek beard follow up story…

The post below was regarding a fellow in my old hood who I used to run into a little too often…He had this weird random cheek beard.  Well apparently the jokes on me because I ran into another fellow on the mean street donning a cheek beard, apparently it is becoming a trend…I’m going to go out and get me some Rogaine so I can get an ever-so-stylish cheek beard! 

http://kimberfreak.wordpress.com/2009/05/29/cheek-beards-and-puppy-dog-tails/

Baby formula is a hot commodity…

I’m having a whole new slew of observations now that I’m a baby mama and have to do things like buy baby formula.

For instance, they keep that shit under lock and key…like it’s laced with gold or some shit.  Even the cheap ghetto 15   dollar stuff is locked up.  Everytime I go into a store to buy it; they tell me the same story; people grab the formula and run out of the store, so hence they have to lock it up.

Now these people don’t realize they are just giving me ideas…who can afford an extra 500-600 dollars of expense a month.  I’ll go to the nice neighborhoods that don’t lock up formula and do a “formula run”.  The teenagers do their sneaky “beer runs” at 711 and I do a formula run…great exercise and a nice money saving tip!!

Last of all; I go into a Food for Less to get above-mentioned formula and you know; it’s next to the liquor.  Is this a subliminal message the store is trying to send out?  Liquor and formula are all you need in life?  Or perhaps, you just had a kid, here buy a lot of liquor because you’ll need it? 

Next time I buy the crack cocaine (otherwise known as baby formula)…I’m going to careful look over the ingredients and start making my own (like those wacky meth users)…start mixing it up in the bathtube and then go venture out on the mean streets and sell it for a discounted rate in baggies.  Maybe I’ll even make a brand you can smoke so people can feel a little more sinister when they are buying from me.

Baby crack cocaine

People were camping out for Sarah Palin…

and her silly new work of fiction called “Going Rogue”.  First of all, hey morons she didn’t write the book, some ghostwriter did. (someone who really needed the money and had to sell their soul to satan). 

Secondly of all, her “fans” seem to be a little clueless about what Sarah P really stands for.  They just like her cuz she’s a purdy lady with a retarded kid, what a gal.

See link below for proof of her challenged fan base;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXKuDYvM6Wk

 

Observations and whatever…

So I haven’t had time to blog in about a month…oy vey!  I’m just gonna write down snipets and clips of whatever pops into my head about what’s been happening within the last month and hopefully after I recap; I can get back to bloggin my silly nonesense again…

The biggest thing that happened in September was having a baby named Piper Tomorrow…the experience wasn’t nearly as bad as I anticipated.  I managed to spent the entire time in the hospital hopped up on drugs…yay!!  (I know, all you “natural” people hate that shit…blah)

 The worst thing that happened to me was the reaction I had to the morphine, ridiculous itching which I guesss can be a cautionary tale to lay off the heroin use or try and keep it to a minimum at least. 

I’ve also noticed (much to my non-dismay) that I’ve still got the freak factor going for me.  Still running into random weirdos every time I venture out of the house…stellar!  Had a middle aged woman dressed to the nines with her Prada bag follow me into the dentists crying, telling me she “hates Caifornia” and just got robbed…HUH?  So what’s up with these robbers who don’t take the entire purse (Prada nonetheless)…did they go through it with a fine tooth comb and hand it back to her?  Did they have that much time?  Was this a leisurely robbery?  Did they buy her a cup of coffee, sit down and mill over the contents of her purse and once they got a credit card or two; hand it back.  Hmmmmmmmmm…..

So I halfway ignore her and then say, yeah, who hasn’t been mugged/robbed?  It’s pretty mainstay here in CA (at least in certain parts of downtown it is)…boo hoo, I got robbed…that’s the same story every homeless man tells when they want crack money.

Then I inform her; lots of people get robbed when they move to CA…their pride, dignity, self-respect…a few dollars isn’t so bad, chin up lady.

Meet Quitman…

So fortunately I’m moving out of my building just in the nick of time.   There appears to be a slew of freaks swarming into the joint.  As much as I love the freaks, I’ll have to seek out my freakdomness in a new part of town.

There is  guy who just moved in (who I’m sorry I won’t get to be more acquainted with) named Quitman.  He tells the story about how his mama didn’t want any more kids and used to say to his Daddy; “Quit man”…so when she got knocked up; they named the kid “Quitman”…hence, the eccentric fellow who lives in my building.

Quitman is a tall skinny black man with gold teeth.  He’s quite jovial and very happy, about age 50-ish.  Very chatty Cathy and almost luminious.  He does fancy the illicit substances and toothless hookers but that is all part of being plagued with the name Quitman.

A couple of Quitmanisms I’ve learned; once you let a hooker know where you live…it’s really really hard to get rid of them.  I saw Ol Quitman trying to get rid of her and it was hard; note to self…never bring a toothless  60 year old hooker with a receding hairline and a nasty meth addiction home to your living abode!  Once they’ve had a taste of the good life in a studio apartment and running water, they ain’t leaving…hell to the no Quitman.  Didn’t yo momma teach you nothing?

Now poor Quitman is not exactly a ladies man so it’s not like he’s got his pick of the crop but sometimes there is a pay-off when it comes to certain favors (like letting hookers come into your home)…What the hell do you think hourly hotels are for Quitman?  WTF? 

My last question plaguing me in regards to Quitman is; was he ever wrongfully accused of rape?   Perhaps in his younger days when toothless hookers weren’t his only option?  He’s getting it on with a lady and he’s not sure if she is asking him to stop or if she is so enamored with him that she’s shouting his name out…he goes with the later and then all of the sudden he’s a registered sex offender. 

The last thing I shall leave you with; does he perhaps have an older brother named Getbusyman?   

 

 

Michele Bachmann wants everyone to “slash their wrists”…

Ready, set...SLASH!!

and become blood brothers in order to protest affordable health care.  Yes let’s do it!  Michele, you go first,  then how about those nutty town hallers and then the gun toters…

While we are on the subject, public option means exactly that; YOU HAVE THE OPTION.  Who are all these idiots who think you have to have the government option as your health plan (not that you even get that much say so with your  work health insurance either)…But 70 percent of people say they “dont understand the health care plan”…WHAT???***

If you took the time to read it; you’d see there are no death panels or evil plots to kill women with breast cancer and grandma.  And btw, most of the people bitching about the public option are the poor ignorant people that need the public option.  The public option is the whole point of health care reform (also lowering premiums) but making sure the 50 million people with no health care have coverage…everyone else will still have coverage too….Jeez!

If we don’t pass it; then the 50 million people just remain uninsured which kind of defeats the whole purpose.  Also, medi-care is governement run for all those consvos and idiots at the town halls who are bitching about it and you should be happy they are around or your old ass would be dead.

Also, I know from personal experience that you get to choose which doctor and what hospital you want with medi-care so people need to stop commenting on stuff they know nothing about.

Also, with the reform…more people will be able to afford health care coverage and the public option will only be a tiny sliver of people using it.

Now back to the slitting wrists…you go first Michele and okay, I get it; you want no public option…so when you are bleeding to death along with your idiot followers; we will make sure the medical facilities do not treat you unless they plan on charging you an outlandish amount of money or maybe even an arm…(preferrablly the one with the slashed wrist)…

*** If you don’t understand the health plan; please take the time to read http://docs.house.gov/edlabor/AAHCA-BillText-071409.pdf

Death Panels…

Come join me on the dark side...Go Death Panels!

I would love to know how to get on one of these “alleged” death panels.  I’m an avid supporter of them as well.  If you have an IQ under 100; the death panel decides if you are a fruitful member of the  community and I’m telling you…get me on one of those death panels and I’m going to be strict.

While we are at it with all the death panel busness; let’s take it a step further…how about neuturing people that may not be good candidates for procreation?  Give them a mental stability test, financial report, family history, personality test…etc…and then decided whether to snip snip or not.  Or maybe just give vasectomies to all males at age 16, ah hell; let’s make it 13 to be safe…then when they get older; they can decide to reverse if they decide they want kids. 

I don’t know why I’m not in charge of health care…we cut down on humans being produced and we’ll have more money for the others.  We get rid of the low IQ’s, rapists, child molesters, republicans, rednecks, nascar fans, meth heads, kkk members, religious zealots, and the Duggers.  We’ll be  good then…less traffic on the street, less carbon footprints ruining the environment (I blame the Duggers and all those stupid TLC families with shows personally,  for ruining the environment with their abundance of carbon footprints).

I better get going now; I have a lot of letters to write to the President and I need to revamp my resume for one of those death panel gigs.

The After-Birthers…

If you’ve been following all this birther business, you may have heard of a new group gaining momentum in the movement as well.  It’s called the after-birthers.  This is a group of people who are demanding to see Obama’s after-birth to prove that he is indeed a human being born on this planet.

The after-birthers spokesperson is a doctor, basket-weaver, proctologist, glue sniffer, and ditch digger from Angola.

Obama appeals to Blue collar Americans by having a beer with Gates and Crowley…

Keg stands for all!!

Aw jeez…really?  Why not just throw in a little blackin  tar heroin and dirty needles to appeal to even more!!  And also, if you are looking to win over the red states with this grand gesture, how about meth and paint huffing?

I wish Obama would just say what he said and leave it at that?  Why should he have to keep apologizing for his opinion?  The po-po was a bunch of dicks and took Prof. Gates out of his own living abode after being shown proof he lived there.  They did it to be cock-suckers and as a power play.  Cops are pricks…that is the bottom line. 

I can’t tell you how many people in LA I know that have been wrongfully arrested and fucked with cuz the over-zealous cops want to convict someone or believe they are guilty of something based only on appearance.  I, myself has been a victim of this; wrongfully arrested and chased on the freeway, having no idea why.  Then they put you through hell and turmoil and then later release you on no charges after realizing you have a clean record.  They show no remorse and you can’t even sue cuz the cops all lie for each other.

I have witnessed and know many people this has happened to…a friend of a friend was leaving Wal-mart of all places and got into her car.  The car in front of her was some sort of police stake out for meth and they accidentally mistook her for the criminal and arrested her at gunpont and took her into the cop shop.  Only later to find out she was merely shopping for toiletries.  Did they apologize?  NO…

So back to the White House kegger, does prof. Gates even like beer?  How come no one is talking about the fact that Crowley is a poor white trash folk and Gates is an elite wealthy professor.  Has the class issue escaped everyone?  Is Crowley pissed cuz he’s white and poor, while all the  brown brothers prosper?  Discuss…