St. Patty’s Day and AA meetings…

On St. Patty’s Day…a pal and I decide to head to J-town for some delicious and nutritious sashimi…and some cocktailiac spirits later.  The first thing above-mentioned friend points out is that on her way to pick me up; she noticed three different AA meetings going on and was wondering what the deal was? 

I point out that apparently a lot of Irish folks are tempted to celebrate their heritage and need an alternative route?  (oddly enough, we decided to celebrate the Japanese culture on St. Patty’s Day just to be rebels…)  So we head over to J-town which isn’t very far from where I live…we notice 3 more AA meetings in full swing.  WTF?  Who knew there was such an insane rash of uncontrollable alkies running around on the mean streeets?

I then decided it would be a stellar idea after the sashimi (oh yeah and sake) to stop by a few of them on the way home…the bar scene is getting pretty boring and I figured it’d be fun to try out a new scene.  We are (well not the person driving) but the others were somewhat liquored up and we troll into the first AA meetings…we are greeted by an old dude with three yellow teeth and a bad comb-over.  He says; “howdy folks”…Join the gang…(I’m already an honorary crip so I think joining another gang would be a conflict of interest so I politely decline the invite)

But decide to go inside anyways…there is A LOT of people there.  My eyes are bloodshot and red, possibally glazed over and I’m fairly certain there was some akward stumbling going on from the other folks in our party…(not the driver….remember that’s the sober one)

I give a fake alias and let them know that I’m so much of an alcoholic, that I drank before I came and boy, do I need some goddamn help….they starred at me mouths agape.  I felt like a leper…outcast to the outcasts…it hurt.  I thought this was a place where I could go and not be judged…obviously I thought wrong.

The leader asked if I was ready to give it all up to the “higher being”…I asked if Oz could be my higher being…it worked for Dorothy and the gang; why not me?  They inquired about my drinking habits and I tell them…”I drink once or twice a month”….but the other 28 or 29; it’s strictly the black-tar heroin.  I was told that I don’t need AA but there are different groups for me…so I’m thinking about going to schizophrenics anonymous next week…

That way, I can show up every week and be someone new every week all under the guise of being a nut…somehow I think the schizos will be more accepting of me and afterall; they are anonymous…so I’d have to assume that by being anonymous; they don’t even know which personality shows up at the meeting…they themselves arn’t even sure who is there, cuz it’s so anonymous…Personality c doesn’t let personality e know what’s going on…I like that in my self-help meetings…

I’m hoping to hit up a new anonymous type meeting every week and keep a journal/log of my findings…so far the AA people are kind of mean and judgemental…so I’ve decided to stick with the alcohol for now…especially until I find out which and who my higher being will be since Oz wasn’t cool with them…I thought the Wizard would suffice everyone’s higher being question…obviously I was wrong…

If anyone wants to suggest some higher beings for me to give up my “problems” and life to; that would be really helpful…Thank you for your insightful advice in advance…