A new study claims that the more problem solving you do bolsters brain power. Great I say…Now I don’t feel so bad about the time I spent dismembering rival Columbian drug traffikers or all the trips I took to Mohave to dispose of dead hookers.
Selling flour to suburbanite cokeheads to pay rent…breaking into the pawn shop to get an AK47…shanking that rolling crip on the subway (nah that doesn’t count, I just did that for a hobby…something fun and new to try)….
I must be a bonifible mensa member by now with the various problem solving I’ve been doing throughout my entire life! I now don’t feel like a wastoid deviant derelict…I am a genius mensa member who never bothered to help clean up that gawd awful stretch of freeway they adopted on the way to Vegas from Los Diablos.
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According to a recent survey, ninty percent of people become ENRAGED when they see people driving and on their cell phones. Hmmmm, I don’t know about you but when I’m driving and I look around; ninty percent of people are ON their cell phones talking or TEXTING. I’m serious, take a look around when you are driving…people are ALL on their phones and I’m going to venture to say a vast majority of them took this damn survey.
Even with the little earpeice thing…still chatting the fuck away. That damn earpeice is a life saver though for schizophrenics and nuts everywhere. Before the invention of it; people would stare at me as I talked to my imaginary friends in my car or on the streets. I’d chat and chat with the other voices in my head and get weird looks. Now the tables have turned! AHA!
Everywhere I go; people are seemingly talking to themselves and at first; I was excited because I realized it was becoming an accepted form of behavior then I realized…nope, these people have a sneaky ear peice on and they are actually talking to real live human beings on a telephone device. Well, okay whatever.
At least multi-personalities, schizos like me and I’m sure there is a few of them you might know too; it’s saved us a lot of embarressement. Before people would look at me as I held long heart-felt conversations with myself on the subway or feverishly waving my arms around exclaiming and denouncing the unjust world Nope, now no one flinches; they assume I am talking to someone with my little invisible cell phone ear peice..thank god!!
Schizos all over are thankful for whoever invented that (I could google it but I’m somewhat of an ungrateful bastard and don’t feel like paying homage to someone who proliferates a phone obsessed society)…I digress, now it is perfectly acceptable to stroll around town completely unmedicated yelling out random propaganda without risking being locked up.
So feel free to have all those conversations you wanted to have with the nine other beings dwelling in your cranium out in public! It’s easier to make sure they all get proper amounts of attention and don’t feel left out if you can now talk to each and every one of them throughout the entirety of the day! Maybe you could counsel the renegade criminal voice with your voice of reason.
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