There is a rash of people (by rash I mean two) that are selling their babies on-line. Earlier today; I read a story about a woman who put her baby on ebay and the starting bid was one dollar. Her ad said; “the baby cried a lot”…
Just now I read a story about a couple in Vancouver who tried to sell their baby on craigslist. These people however, felt their offspring…their fetile unit was worth a little more than a dollar. They were selling their kid for 10,000 (or 10,100 in American money).
They said their baby was “cute” but they couldn’t afford to care for it and wanted to find it a good home. I have to say; it is a step above tossing it into a random dumpster or throwing it in the trash can at your senior prom. I mean, if you want to choose the lesser of the two evils; selling it is better than killing it off.
Of course, authorities were alerted to this and the couple was arrested for “mischievious behavior”…you can be arrested for being mischievious? That sure explains a lot about my recent string of luck in that case. So if I decide to do a little cutting* and splatter my blood all over unsuspecting victims exclaiming I have Hep A, B and C…that is considered mischievious and I can be arrested? That really dampers my passtime activities then.
If I can’t be mischivious without being arrested, I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to carry on in this oppressed society we reside in. Being mischivious is all I’ve got these days…please don’t take that away from me…
By the way; is that all you label selling a baby on craigslist? Mischievious? (am I spelling mischievious wrong…I’m tired, please forgive me)…Maybe a more descriptive adjective needs to be put into play here; like heinous? heartless? Ludacrious? I think if you got charged with something called “heinous behavior”; it would justify a tougher punishment than just plain ol mischivious…am I right?
In conclusion, thanks a lot Canadian couple…now I don’t feel like I can ever leave my apartment again for fear of being arrested on “michivious behavior charges”…everything else I’ve been charged with lately is bad enough…now mischivious too? When will it stop? Will I someday get arrested for being silly, nutty, goofy and dorky?
Excuse me young lady, you are being arrested on dork charges…yes that is what I said…NO you are not allowed to walk around the city laughing at people’s wrong attire choices, bad teeth, and botched plastic surgery…I’m also going to arrest you on “pretentious asshole charges”…yes you Miss Kimberly…you are a pretentious ass sitting there at Casbah with your fancy soy drink and your tofu salad…We’ll show you by locking you up with carnivores and people with bad acne.
Not only do we have to look out for criminal activities; now we can’t even be adjectives while out trolling. I guess I’m going to have to go carve out a spyder hole somewhere in a remote area so I can continue to be animated and mischivious without fear of going to the clink.
* cutting=a popular hobby these days with hipsters, emo kids and people like me who have tried a lot of other hobbies and are just testing this one out. Also good for party conversation starters…What happened to your arms? I’m a cutter, it’s all the rage with the kiddies; you should try it! (bada bing, new friend…or at least someone who will talk to you at above-mentioned party for a few minutes before they run away frightened and bewildered at your somewhat unconventional hobby..it is however a good way to weed people out…if they stick around after you explain the cutting; they probably won’t be as shocked when they find out about your human head taxidermy project you have hanging on the walls of your apartment).
You’re welcome for the tip.
