If you are interested; you missed the Mastur-bat-athon in San Francisco. And check it out; those crazy Japanesse can not only eat a shitload of Hot dogs (hence the dude who kept winning our hotdog eating competitions) but they also are skilled in the technique of self-love. A Japanese dude showed up at the Mastur-bat-athon and broke some world record masturbating record.
Apparently you missed out on roomfuls of people showing their self-appreciation along with various sex toys…they had cots laid out and did the solo vertical dance for 24 hours. People came* from far and wide to show their support for the biggest circle jerk heard round the world.
You had to pay 20-dollars to participate and beverages were supplied. There is nothing like some kool-aid after spanking it in front of 20 thousand random strangers.
Also noteworthy; a girl named kitty-kat broke the woman’s world record for having a seven hour climax. Is this an olympic event yet? Do these people train for this? All valid questions…I think I will do an in-depth report next year. By in-depth I don’t mean in any orifies so get your damn mind out of the orifice you sick bastard.
* Pun absolutely Intended
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