He is! I swear to god he is fucking preparing for famine, disease and food shortagges. I give this little bastard treats and he hides them around my apartment. IN the closet, in his bed…in fact, the other day I came from work and there is dog treats buried in my bed and I’m like; “WTF?”.
I think he realizes we aren’t cruising the mean street in my rig (well first of all cuz it’s broken) but secondly of all; gas is a gosh darn fortune! He’s frightened that at some point I won’t be able to afford his pupperonis or his gourmet dog cookies and meals. So he is doing some hording.
This little dog eats better than I do and not only that; he stock piles which is more than I can say for myself. If I don’t have food; I just say fuck it and don’t eat…just wait for a neighbor to invite me to dinner. It’s not so much that I can’t afford food just yet but I had a really bad experience at a grocery store recently and half the shit was expired and it made me want to throw up so I decided to stay safe from food poisoning (which I’ve gotten often here in the hood)…it’s best to just stay away from food all together. (except for Pocky, you really can’t get food poisoning from that shit…it’s got a long shelf life; it has too…they freaking ship it over from Japan)…
So the bad grocery shopping experience has left a bad taste in my mouth; literally (even though I didn’t buy anything, cuz I’m a nazi about expiration dates on food).
Anyways, my dog is smart and he knows some weird shit is coming so he’s got food hidden all over the apartment in case of some unfortunate circumstances that could plague his food supply. He gets very nervous when someone gets close to his stock pile or when I removed the treats from my bed…he got very nervous and paced around…then he immediately took all the treats and found new homes from them where I wouldn’t find them. He watched me too while he buried them and if I was watching; he’d take them somewhere else and closely watch me to make sure I wasn’t watching to see where he was going to keep his forbidden fruits so to speak.
He even does the prison move…whereupon; you hide stuff in your mouth for later (sure, they are hiding razor blades and drugs but it’s the same concept with his food)…he will get a treat from some neighbor outside and he’ll hide it in his mouth and when we get upstairs to the apartment…he’ll immediately expel it and hide it. It’s highly amusing.
Maybe next time a neighbor has me over for dinner; I’ll rip a page from Casper’s book and hide the food in my mouth and spit it out later and hide it somewhere like in the pockets of my coats…you never know when it’ll come in handy!!
