Torture gets a bad rap…

All this talk of torture lately has gotten me a little fired up.  Torture gets a bad rap.  Why isn’t anyone interviewing the S&M community…get their thoughts on torture.  Get a dominatrix on Keith Olberman and ask her a few questions…someone who makes their living at torturing people oughta get some say-so in the matter. 

I mean, who wouldn’t find a naked prisoner pyramid a little bit erotic?  Naked water-boarding doesn’t sound bad on a hot day. 

It’s even quaint how some people aren’t calling it torture anymore, nope; it’s now “enhanced interrogation techniques”…doesn’t that fancy it up a big and make it sound socially acceptable even eloquent.  Enhanced sounds like someone is going to bake you a cake when you are done.   A cake with a file in it, perhaps or insects. 

Enhanced interrogation technique sounds like an off Broadway musical or the name of an alternative band.  (maybe one on the second stage at Coachella).

Sean Hannity is such a big fan of torture; he’s decided he wants to do a little water boarding himself.  He says he is a supporter of torture.  That’s cuz he’s got a safe word with his mistress…prisoners don’t.  There is a difference.

 

Is the Right retarded or really kinky?

Let’s begin with the obvious tea-bagging of the White House…Who knew the Republican party was down with some oral action and in public too.  You can imagine my surprise when I turned on the TV and there was no tea bagging going on anywhere in sight.  Just a bunch of douche bags carrying racist signs.

No dicks being dipped so eloquently into anyone’s eager gapping open mouths.  WTF?  Seriously, did no one bother to actually find out what tea-bagging is?  No one’s teenage son/daughter giggled and mentioned; “maybe you wanna google that term?”    See what pops up.  Or perhaps the double-entendre appealed in a grotesque crude way, to get their point across?

So there is that, and then another anti-gay marriage groups decides to call themselves 2m4m.  Hmmmmm, 2 males looking for another…kinky.  But the conservo are connotating it’s meaning as; 2 million for marriage…ha ha ha!  So they decide to throw out more sexual lingo to represent.  Are they a bunch of pervs or is there a secret gay guy in charge of the republican party who is doing this as a joke?

I’m starting to think Larry Craig and a few of his airport restroom buddies have co-conspired to name these events/groups for the conservatives.  Then they go to their local glory hole hangout and laugh hysterically.

In upcoming weeks; be looking for “National Salad Tossing Day” whereupon; the green movement will be chastized against by tossing salad on the lawn of the White House…sponsored by Fox News.

Conservatives are Tea-bagging Congress and the White House…

Yes they are…A phrase you thought was saved soley for gay clubs and porn movies.  The conservatives have an actual website whereupon; you can send a tea bag to the White House to protest all the things the Dems have done in office.  You know, like shut down Gitmo, a stimulus package and the most important; the almost legalization of Marajuana!  (there’s others but my short term memory fails me at the moment, google it ya lazy bastards).

All over the nation on April 15; people will be tea-bagging…more accurately; conservatives will be tea-bagging each other in mass groups of people in public forums.  Dirty tea-baggers all over the nation will come together to tea bag together and then maybe douche later.

Pirate Hostage Situation…

Captain Richard Phillips was kidnapped by Somali pirates the other day.  Yikes!  A dream come true for me but perhaps not all.   Sometimes I like to watch Fox news to laugh at their unintentional comedy.  Hence, a report on the pirate hostage situation.  The news lady says; “Richard Phillips has just alerted people that he’s still a captive but he’s okay”.

I got to wondering, how do they know he’s okay.  Is he twittering from the pirate ship to let everyone know he’s cool?  Did the pirates let him have a phone call? Did they let him use his cell phone?  Is he also doing some sexting* to the Sea captain?  I wonder if the pirates are also gonna let him update his facebook status while he’s at it?

Everyone is all up in arears (pun intended) and the news lady ends her segment with; “What are the pirate thinking?”  Hmmmm, I’ll tell you what thoughts are racing through their craniums…”Hey Dick, can you teach us about this twittering business and how to send sexts so we can get some bitches all up in dis peice yo?”

*Sexting=sending sexy pics or nudie pics of yourself via cell phone.